There’s a perfectly good reason why this post contains only my face. Lol.
I started taking photos because I just wanted to. I think I was in gradeschool when I picked up our Sony Digicam and just took photos of everything, all the time. I started taking photos of flowers (don’t worry I’m not going to post an entire blog just full of plants, no hate, just sayin’). Shit got boring, so I explored the depths of Deviant Art and Flickr! I then discovered Lara Jade (and my other heroes)! She took amazing photos of herself. She’s gorgeous, and she’s really good at post processing. She’s really the one who inspired me to do portraits (though Helmut Newton’s work has been such a great influence on me).
I said to myself, if I’m going to start taking photos of other people, I have to be comfortable with being in front of the camera. I believe that relating to my subjects play a vital role in getting “the shot”. So if it means I spend an afternoon, running back and forth from my camera, getting sweaty and physical af, and being vain, I gotta do it. My genius boyfriend actually told me that in order for me to remember how to take photos, I should retrace my steps back to when I first started. But I’m really not going to take photos of plants. Let’s just skip that part. So my first step will be, TAKE A SHIT LOAD OF PHOTOS OF MYSELF because why not.
My non-existent self-esteem disappeared even more (is that even possible haha) when my face broke out last year when I was on my OJT. Google said that getting your puberty late in your 20’s is possible (because I never had that awkward stage, it’s only just now huhu). Because of that, I stopped taking selfies. I stopped practicing taking photos of myself. That stopped me from taking the first step towards getting back to what I love. It turns out I was just afraid of facing myself and my insecurities.
I didn’t stop taking photos just because of my acne (which is a shallow reason tbh). I stopped because of various reasons, namely: things just felt forced, a lot of people are so much better, I didn’t think I mattered, I felt stuck and I didn’t think I can improve.
So my self portraits here will be an ode to the time when I just jumped in front of the camera because I wanted to take photos of people and nobody else was around. This is a tribute to how fuckin real this project will get.
P.S.: I do self-portaits via timer. YES I haven’t bought myself a damn remote, I know LOL. WELL if the timer works, it’s not stupid!